outex

There's what we find, what is found in ourselves and the finding itself.  I don't dismiss the "what" of the found--there are so many "whats" I pursue and appreciate, relish and cherish.  But it is the finding, the sharing, that makes the "what" what it is.  Things found are many and ready, but the finding itself is always unique.  And the finding of each other makes you the thing I cherish most--for you, with you, there just is no substitute.

It pains me, in both horrible and wonderful ways, not to close the gap between hearing you speak and feeling your lips.  I experience your beauty overflowingly.  My appreciation of you is all yours, and were the gap to close, you could luxuriate in it.  But for now I appreciate secretly in pain and secretly happily.

Vulnerability is really necessary for any sort of willful interaction.  Vulnerability is at its core about influenceability--we want to be affected by our interactions.  But it comes also with connotations of risk or susceptibility to harm, accentuating possibility.  We are alert to bad possible outcomes which at the same time offset and highlight good possible outcomes. What's missing from this first impression of vulnerability is that good outcomes aren't merely hinted at by the bad, they come hand-in-hand with them.  If a good outcome is to be possible, the not-so-good outcome must be possible too--anything else is inevitable, not interac